TSG Audio Gem: Who Is The Enemy?

Who Is The Enemy?

By Pennie Rumsey

The Battle Field

Unlike any time in history before us, our enemy has relentlessly and maliciously been fighting to sabotage our families to get us to destroy each other. We see the symptoms of this in sibling rivalry, family break-ups, and the rise of domestic violence. An embryo view of this problem may sound like “it’s mine!”, “me first!”, “stop it!”, or “leave me alone!”. This selfish behavior leads us toward more separation, death, and loneliness, and away from connection, unity and life. So what is happening in our relationships when we feel like “my way” is more important than your way or what I want is superior to what you want?

I had a dream a couple of years ago where I was on a ship with a lot of people. It was night time and I was looking for my children. They were lost and I couldn’t find them, although I had a secure feeling that they were safe. As I wandered around the ship looking around in the faces of all the other people, no one seemed to pay any attention to me. Each one of them, both old and young, was obsessed with a little blue light that seemed to have a drug-like effect on them. I could see parents who did not know where their children were, and what was worse, they didn’t care. The drug-like addiction of the little blue light had numbed all sense of reason and overtaken their higher reasoning. It was clear that this is not who they once were. There are many symptoms, but the root cause of selfishness is that we are focused on whatwewant more than helping our others around us.

The Truth Dispels The Darkness

I was talking to a friend the other day about some parenting challenges we were having in our home. I told her how one of my children has some defiance behaviors and I was trying to figure out what to do about it. She said, “You need to help her see how she can win.” It made me remember several things about a lesson I had learned before, but this brought it to a whole new level. What I knew before was that I wanted to make it my goal to get on the same team. I realized that day that I needed to talk to my daughter about who the enemy was and what happens when we are pitted to fight against each other. What my friend told me made me remember the answer to this question, “Who is the enemy?”

I came home and talked about these truths with my daughter

• We are on the same team

• I am not your enemy

• I want to help you get your goals that will help you be happy in the end

• When you and I fight we both loose, and the enemy wins

• When we fight we are acting as agents for the enemy who destroys instead of builds

I remembered that day that in order to let go of what I want, I need to valuemorethe higher common ground of what we both want. Ideally, to make that common ground what God wants for us, instead of what we want for ourselves by ourselves. It looks like this:

So what do we need to do to win?

Depending on how advanced your skills, the answer may be different for all of us. The #1 goal is to stay calm. It is something we are all constantly working on. Something that I often think about is the river of life as shown on the Z Model. It is usually true that the easy choice (the path of least resistance) is the one that will take us downstream, and the hard choice will take us upstream (work). If we want to fight against our selfish tendencies, we much choose it: intentionally, on purpose, by a conscious and proactive choice to work. Choose to swim upstream. Choose to let go of selfishness. If you realize that you have not been the parent that you yet want to become, and you’re ready to change then this Gem is for you.

This week’s Audio Gem is answers the question: What do you do when everything goes wrong?

Tug-O-War VS. Raccoon Circle

Your challenge assignment this week, should you choose to accept it, is to play a game with your family of tug-of-war, and then play the raccoon circle game. The raccoon circle game is played with a rope tied in a circle and the whole family standing in a circle holding the rope. You say “On three: 1,2,3” together. Then everyone leans back and sits down. Then you say “On three:1,2,3,” then everyone leans back to stand up together. Level 1: Notice, feel, discuss, and contrast the differences between the two games. What do you want it to feel like in your family?

Level 2 challenge: Notice the way your family approaches the situation and ask yourself, “Where else does this show up in my life?”

Your family is worth whatever price you must pay to get united. You may have to travel through chaos to get to calm, but it will all be worth it in the end.

To The Victory of Your Family,

Pennie Rumsey

victorykidsmom

Student Inspirer