Rule of 3

So, what do you do when your children are exhausted and tired or sick and melting down with the Rule of 3? My husband came to me and said "what do you do after 2 chores?" So, I went back to my 8 year old son. It was late, we had had a long travel day and he did not want to do 2 chores from the jar, but ones we assigned to him. I pre-taught him on disagreeing appropriately and prepared him to accept a "no" answer. He melted down. I then gave him a lot of pre-teaching. A lot. And so many chances to calm down but he ended up earning 2 SODAS and a Major Maintenance. At first, it was 24 Hour Loss of Privileges, but he said "That's not how it works! I am suppose to get a Major Maintenance!" SO, I changed. He was so tired and done that I felt kind-of bad giving him so many chores, but he was completely out of instructional control and not accepting consequences or "no" answers. My other children get like this too, especially the 10 year old. What do you do when kids are tired and you are pre-teaching the heck out of the situation and giving them a ton of chances. We are all tired and I just want everyone to go to bed and accept the corrections. I even say "Take deep breaths or go somewhere where you can calm down". I say "I will only talk to you when. you are calm so I will give you until the count of 3 to calm down or walk away until you are calm". BUT THEY WONT GO!!! Help. I remind myself I am the parent and that role cannot be taken from me. I do try hard to stay calm, but my kids are relentless at times when they are tired and they don't like what I am saying. The older daughter, who is 13 will say, when she is tired, that she was not rude or snarky or out of instructional control, but that she was trying to joke about it and this program has taken all joking out of our home. Please help with this. Thank you for all your help. I would have abandoned this program if not for the support of these calls.