Do we specify/label a character flaw by name?

My 9 year old son tends to find the easy way out in whatever he does. For example, I tell him to go and get a math book in our math and science pile of about 8 books. After one look in our homeschool book cabinet, he whines and say he can’t find it. I tell him to look in the rooms he might have left it in and he goes. Still no book. But when I go look for it in the homeschool book cabinet, the math book is right there in the pile, slightly covered up by a wider folder on the top. This kind of situation happens a lot and I think it’s due to laziness which frustrated me. So I decided to tell him this time, ‘when you only look once and you’re not choosing to be diligent. What you need to do is lift up each book, instead you are choosing to be lazy.” My son then started crying. My husband thinks that he broke down because he wants my approval. Is this kind of describing harmful? How will he know what is diligence or laziness if it is not pointed out? I grew up without much emotional guidance from my mother and did not recognize the emotions/ character flaws that I struggled with until I was in my late teens. I met a mentor then, who would label the emotions and behaviors she saw in me (like jealousy, pride, resentment, anger).. After a while, I would recognize patterns in myself and we would discuss the underlying problem to why I behaved such a way, how to overcome etc. After doing these with her quite a bit I began to recognize these emotions in myself and others. However it did make me very critical of myself and others. Would you recommend doing this in TSG? Would this be the same as observing and describing?