Gem 7-31-13 Video on How To Help Back Talking and Attitude Problems

How Do You Stop Power Struggles and Arguing?

Before I found Teaching Self-Government, I had a really argumentative communication style. When someone said something that was not true, I felt was my duty to set them straight. I havea natural tendency to quickly react with words which don’t sound very nice, or to say things that start power strugglessometimes unknowingly. As you might guess this has been the cause of a lot hurt feelings and hurt relationships in the past. Every day is still a choice to either choose self-government or reactive backtalking.

Now that I have learned about Teaching Self-Government, I am learning how to stop myself from starting power struggles by first recognizing them and then using the 4 Keys of Self-Government to stop them. It is a continual refinement process and I’m still working every day to use my self-government to step back, and stay calm. The first half of self-government is to stopyourself from doing what you don’t want to do. The second half is using assertive action to make yourself do what you need to do to get the results that you really want.

After Nicholeen’s recent home visit I started to see more clearly that I need to work on correcting a problem only aftermy child is teachable and ready to listen. I don’t know why but before she came I was doing a correction while not being calm myself. It seemed to be a power struggle in and of itself. I am recognizing more and more the right way to effectively teach and communicate the truth to my children so they learn to happily follow instructions.

Today’s Video Gem is from Nicholeen called “How Do I Stop Back Talking and Attitude Problems.”

As I have listened to this video several times this week, I am recognizing the times others try to pull me into a power struggle with arguing and back talking. Now that I am seeing this, I am prepared to stop it.

Your challenge assignment this week is to regognize one thing you need to stop yourself from dong. Maybe it’s eating that last 10 bites of dessert. Maybe it’s pushing the snooze one more time. Maybe it’s arguing and back talking. The more you practice stopping yourself, the more things will change.

Changing yourself is the center of changing your home. Be the leader, even if you have to stand alone at first.

To the victory of your family,

Pennie Rumsey

Student Inspirer