Babies Becoming Teenagers

March 2011

The writing was based on “The Myth of the Teenager” and is highly recommended

By: Londyn and Nicholeen Peck

My name is Londyn Peck. I am nine years old, and I refuse to become a teenager because teenagers are not happy. They may think they are doing fun things, but really they are doing dumb things which will keep making them unhappy.

Teenagers Aren’t Always Teenagers

I know an eight year old girl named Rachel who is not a child. She is a very small teenager. Rachel has her own cell phone, Ipod, TV, and trendy, collectable “toys” called Bratz dolls. These dolls look like the most extreme teenagers. Even the name suggests that children should be focused on becoming bratty instead of becoming kind, responsible youth.

A small child, age 5, lives by Rachel. Rachel has told me on many occasions that she doesn’t like this five year old child. She thinks the child is babyish. She also tells me the child is rude. I know the child to be very energetic and kind, but haven’t seen her be rude. Whenever I am with Rachel, she talks about people. She never talks good about people, only bad. I think she is used to using words like “rude” to talk about people, even little people who she should be kind to. When people gossip about others in this way they are behaving immaturely, like teenagers.

I am pretty sure Rachel talks bad about me, because she talks bad about so many people. Rachel doesn’t think I am cool because I don’t have all the things she has. I think she sees that I am not a teenager, and don’t want to be a teenager, so she chooses not to be my friend.

Rachel has been a teenager for a very long time. I have known her for many years and remember her acting like a teenager even when she was four years old.

Yes, babies are becoming teenagers. And, parents are supporting the movement by buying all kinds of devices and trendy things to keep their children happy and occupied. Most parents now days both work, so when they have time with their children they usually buy them things to make up for not being there all the time. Children also seem to see their parents as a way to get things they want, instead of a person to have a relationship with. To make this more blunt. They see mom and dad and their wallet, their friends as their fun, and their devices as their leisure.

Are We Making This UP?

No way. The people who really watch social trends and who is changeable in society have already shown us that teen/babies are becoming increasingly more common.

“The target audience for the media and sales industry is no longer the teen. Now the add agencies tell us they are focusing on a more influential group between the ages of eight and twelve called tweens” said the radio one night while I was driving. I don’t know which university professor said it, but I was completely sucked into the rest of the presentation. This speaker was telling me my babies were painted with targets on their foreheads. The marketers and media gurus saw them as money, and spent billions of dollars each year to cash in.

After hearing this I took a hard look at the young people around me. I listened closely to what my child, and the neighbor’s children were saying, and watched what they were doing with their time. I found the statement made by the radio to be true and completely sobering. What was I going to do to protect my babies from becoming teenagers already?

Teenagers vs. Tween/babies

Teenagers are common enough. They have been around for quite a while now, but tween/babies are completely new. During the Civil War young boys were running off to go blow bugles, beat drums and fight for their side. During World War II young boys lied about their ages to draft for the war and to protect the world. They also, at young ages became the “man of the house” while dad was off at war. These children were growing up fast; they had to.

Children today are also growing up fast, but for no good reason. They are also not growing into adults. The youth from war times past knew what they were fighting for and knew what it would take to win the battle.

Today’s young people are also in the middle of a fight, but they don’t know it. It is a moral battle between what is right and wrong for humanity. If you asked them what they were fighting for, they would probably say, “respect” or “to get what [they] want in life.” They have to set things right in this world. That is their real mission. They just don’t know how their actions are effecting their missions.

I often think of little Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode I. He was defiant, and wanted to leave his world. He wanted the thrilling and the dangerous. He was impulsive and emotional. He was protected by his mother, but resented it. Even though he was all of these things he was the person who was meant to “bring balance to the force.” Anakin had a mission, but he didn’t care about it or know what it was. He was naïve, but would never admit that if told.

The teenagers today are the same. They want to do things their way. They want to distance themselves from good things and good people. Teenagers want the dangerous and the thrilling without the consequences. With all this, they are supposed to solve the problems in the world. They have a power and a purpose and they haven’t been allowed to know it, or believe it because the adults around them don’t think power is possible for regular people. People believe you have to be a superstar to have power. This is why parents now days want to turn their children into superstars instead of virtuous people.

Tween/babies are somewhat different than teenagers. Tweens do all the behaviors the teens do, but they are more dependent on their parents. They are also at a younger age, so the parents still think of doing everything to please them. Tweens are assumed to be innocent based on children their age from the past. Even with the social culture becoming more crude, the parents of tweens still assume their child is not effected too much by the general deterioration of values and morals. Aren’t all young children virtuous? So, tweens are doing just about everything the teenagers are doing with a few advantages, the adults aren’t really wise to it yet, and the parents are still indulging them because of their age. This is the perfect combination for social and personal disaster.

How Are Tweens Made?

Behaviors are learned. Since that is the case we have to concur that children have learned how to become teen/babies from somewhere or someone. Where are children all day? Home, school, and at play. These must be the places they are learning to become teen/babies. Who do they see each day? Peers, teachers, parents. These must be the people the children are learning from. The only other option is media. However, that is easily removed if the parents want to remove it from the child. Our family hasn’t watched network television for many years now, and it is completely natural feeling. Londyn said, “Small children learn to become teenagers from their parents, teachers, friends, and the media.”

How do they learn?

Parents are a child’s first teacher. What do they see now days? They look at their parents, who are not adults, but teenagers still, and think that is what they are supposed to be like. Such parents put heavy emphasis on leisure, and things. They are also obsessed with looking young and cool. They engage in youthful activities and resist study or mature activities. The parents don’t know how to have a proper parent/child relationship because they didn’t pay attention to what their parents did. They didn’t agree with their parent’s parenting, so now they are reinventing the parenting wheel and doing trendy, social parenting instead of traditional principled parenting.

We realize there are many great non-teenager parents out there who are working diligently to switch this kind of up-bringing. We also know that changing from a teenager mentality parent to a leadership mentality parent is very difficult and requires lots of hard work. Many of us are products of our own upbringing. We didn’t know we weren’t seeing the whole picture and that we were being sucked into a lot of propaganda. It’s never to late to change. How to do this will be discussed later on in this book.

Parents are the first influence on the paradigm of the child. Next come teachers and other family members. Choosing teachers and mentors for child is so important. Some of us think we can’t choose, but we can always choose. If you don’t agree with the teachings of a particular person involved in your child’s life. Either get a new teacher, do it yourself, or have regular planning meetings with the teacher so that you can be an influence for good on them. Become their best friend.

So Many Teachers

Not only do people teach things to these teen/babies; things do too. When we talked about the teenager/babies and the struggles they have Londyn was insistent that we make sure to point out that toys and devices are teaching children all the time about life and what is important. As a parent, I am worried if these things show my child what “real” life is. Digital is not real. And, talking to a computer toy is never going to be the same as talking to a real person. The toys tweens play with (cell phones, computers, TVs, Ipods, gaming devices, etc.) are actually adult devices, not toys, and they destroy their love of regular toys. What are regular toys? Blocks, cars, animals, dolls, dishes, and books. I would try to stay away from toys which make too much noise make your child disconnect from other people around them. Regular toys usually encourage connection.

Friends are also big influences on the teen transformation of youngsters. These friends, who also have electronic toys, don’t know how to play like children used to, so they do teenager things instead, like gossip, listen to rock music, play computer, text, do their hair and nails, and collect trendy toys or objects.

Sex and Superstars

Children today live in a virtual world. The conversations are about music groups, sports stars, television shows, and movie stars on the way to dinner each night. They talk about superstars all the time, and think they should live like superstars. Superstars have all the stuff and money they need, they get people to do what they tell them to do. They have sex anytime they feel like it, and they wear the latest trends in fashion. Why do we talk about these people all the time and look at their photos in the checkout lines? Because they are the only people we hear about and see on a regular basis doing anything out of the ordinary. They fascinate us because they are there and someone has said they are something special.

There are even clothes which suggest being a superstar is the goal for children. Have you seen these stickers and shirts which say, “superstar” on them? Of course there are many other shirts which say teenager/babie ideas. Shirts like, “I hat brothers” and “hand over the money mom.” These shirts are meant to make people smile, but they really deliver a message to the child and the world about what appropriate relationships should look like.

Small children are even having sex with other small children because they think that is the thing to do in friendships. Besides their superstar heroes have shown them sex and happiness go together. Londyn has a story to share about teen/babies having sex.

One day I was playing at a public place and happened to meet a girl named Crystal. Crystal told me that she wanted to play with me because she decided not to play with her boyfriend. Crystal was six years old. Apparently, Crystal had just broken up with her boyfriend who was also six years old because he asked her if she would have sex with him.

The boy knew all about sex and felt this was the next step in their relationship.

Crystal said she had decided not to have sex anymore because her parents said she should wait until she was a bit older.

I told my mom about this experience because it was so confusing to me. I couldn’t believe that this cute little girl was talking about sex and that she had had sex before and had made a choice not to have it for a while.

Sex is not for children. It is not even for teenagers. Sex is for married couples. Where are the boundaries?

If children don’t know what a child is supposed to do, what a youth is supposed to do and what a responsible adult is supposed to do, then they are left to guess and mimic. The easiest, and most natural person to mimic is the next age group up; the teenager.

Pride and Joy

Parents are proud of their teenager babies too. When a child comes to a parent with a “hit list” or lets a swear word “slip out” the parents brag about it to their friends and chuckle as they do their parent duty and tell them not to say things like that. It is all just funny. The children are growing up so fast, and it seems like a good pace because it matches the pace of life. Why wait to grow up? We don’t have to wait for anything anymore. Plus, teenager babies are a bit easier to raise than traditional children.

Traditional children want to play with their parents all the time and be with them. This is really time consuming for the parents. It is also not fun for teenagers. And, many parents are still teenagers. Traditional children want to learn how to bake, sew, garden, and make homemade gifts for people. The boys want to make things out of wood, and work with dad on projects. They also make multiple mistakes along the way, which take time and money. Yes, these traditional children don’t fit very well into the fast passed perfection-ate world we live in. We either have to slow down, or do something different.

The different thing most families end up doing is encouraging growing up quickly. The children are given expensive things and the most fashionable clothes. They are passed from person to person and then given trinkets and gadgets to keep them busy while mom and dad live their own lives and get their things done. The teeny/babies are taken to many extra-curricular activities way before their time to give them superstar confidence before anything really important has actually happened, and made to think they are the best at everything they try. When they eventually find out they are not the best anymore, it is way too humiliating for the parents and children to continue with the steep competition, so the child quits the activity and finds stimulation in gaming. The parents encourage the gaming and brag about their child’s gaming skills and successes to their friends just like a parent would about a soccer hero.

Everyone is happy with this situation. The parent gets lots of free time, minimal questions, and glory with her friends. The child gets lots of disconnected, alone time, something to brag to his buddies at school about, and no pressure to actually excel at anything useful. They also learn that as long as you don’t want to get too attached to mom and dad, you can get a free ride, be left alone, and have the latest cool stuff. Last, the friend feels valuable with this friendship. Since he is his buddies confidant he sees his role as friend as important and mature. So, since the child feels mature and intelligent enough to advise his friend, he sees no reason to actually grow up. He got all the perks that come with maturity without actually having to work at becoming mature. What a deal!

Bringing Back Babies

What can a parent do to keep their child from becoming another one of the teen/baby crowd? How can we help them find happiness in being different? The answers to these questions sound easy. But, in fact, they are the hardest things you ever have to do.

What can we do? Change ourselves. Turn off the television. Start playing with our children more. Change the culture in our to be what we need instead of what everyone else says is desirable. Plan it out. Write out what you want your ideal child rearing environment to be and then get going. Make sure you talk about all of this with your children if they are over age six and you are making changes. Show them real successful people. Read them stories of really great people and help them get a vision of their lives for the future. If there is one thing teens hate doing, it’s looking ahead. The same goes for tweens. You need to be a visionary family. Be the kind of people who are going somewhere and are taking your children with you. If you have purpose, they will find purpose too. If you discuss life a lot they will be able to stand against the rest of the world’s views when necessary.

Have a “Family Standard.” In my book Parenting A House United I discuss how to make a document which protects your family from negative influences and keeps everyone happy at the same time. I call this document a “Family Standard.” The “Family Standard” tells the children no for the hard things and looks ahead to the possible future conflicts the home culture could face. It keeps the whole family focused and safe. To find Parenting A House United go to https://teachingselfgovernment.com

If any of these things seem like they won’t work for your family, then you need to work on your relationships too. If your family is struggling to communicate you will have a hard time changing the culture of your home. Parenting A House United and the 10 Step Implementation Program will help with communication and repairing relationships.