Audio Gem 5-23-13

The Pillow Wrestling Match

Is your pillow winning the wrestling match with your head?

Here’s what you can do about it.

Unforeseen Consequences

I made a dumb decision and stayed up too late one night this week talking to a friend. We were having an amazing conversation learning from one another, but before I knew it the night was well spent. By the next morning I was bushed and couldn’t make myself get out of bed to study as I usually did. As the day wore on, I realized the consequences of my choice was that my tiredness was mixing up the priorities. As all my priories shifted I realized that in the end what I gave up was the “cherry on top” and the thing I look forward to the most. By the end of the next day, I was so tired I didn’t know what day it was. Do you ever loose sight of what is most important to you? It happens. It’s not important that we get a perfect score, but it is important how quickly we can correct our course to steer toward our final destination.

If I would have thought ahead of the consequences of my actions, I might have made a different choice. Learning to analyze can help us do just that. The Z Model we talked about last week helps us to see the principles behind the behavior.

This Week’s Audio Gem:

This week’s Gem is from a question Nicholeen was asked on the course about how to connect better with her husband. In minute 6 Nicholeen talks about ‘being naggy’. If you usethe Z Model, you can analyze this segment to get a deeper understanding of the behavior.

This week’s Audio Gem

[swf file=”https://s3.amazonaws.com/CC_segments/CC5-3-13Segment7-ConnectingWithMyHusband.mp3″]

Analyzing Nagging with the Z Model (Min 5:50)

Make a list of what you hear. Then look at your list with the Z Model picture.

Here’s what my analysis looked like:

Left side:

• suggests we don’t trust the person
• or the person’s desire to choose good
• worried about a detail instead of a person
• nagging leads to ‘villainizing’
• Media = disconnection
• Disconnect through disapproval

Right Side

• Need to focusperson
• Their needs are equal to my needs
• person more important than tasks
• Use my power properly- influence to good
• Be appreciative, show gratitude
• Live true to who I am supposed to be
• motivate others to action through approval

At the end of the clip, Nicholeen gives an awesome list of ways that we can better connect in our relationships (some apply only to your spouse).

Character Challenge

Your challenge this week, should you choose to accept it, is to find something you need to be more assertive with. Maybe it’s getting out of bed like me. Maybe it’s connecting with your husband.Write on your calendar one assertive action you can take every day this week, and do it.

Getting back on track after being so tired this week has been hard work. It has required me to use my Self-Government skills. I even had to give instructions to myself. Here’s a tip if you have a hard time getting out of bed. I do this all the time and it works wonders. As you are lying in your bed, too tired to get up, give this instruction from your brain to your body: “I am getting up.” Say it over and over in your mind until your body gets out of bed. If you need a bigger reason to get out of bed in the morning, remember you have a song to sing, and a message only you can give. There is a reason why you were born, a mission you must do, and if you don’t want to get out of bed then you don’t know what it is. Ask and ask until you have it so deep in your bones that no pillow will ever win that wresting match again. More on how to do that later.

No matter what challenge you face, there is someone else who has faced it before you. You can either bang your head against the wall trying to figure it out by yourself, or you can ask someone who has been where you are for help. (I tend to be on the hard-head side and need this reminder sometimes.)

Chin up,

Pennie Rumsey

Student Inspirer