Weekly VIDEO Gem, 5-9-13

How well are you seeing?

What lesson is life trying to teach you?

“Of things seen and things unseen: like an iceberg, there is a much larger part unseen than there is of the part that is seen.”

I decided on this picture because it reminds me of a picture I have in my mind. It is a circle that represents truth. It’s as if this sphere of truth is mostly submerged in the water, with only a small part showing above the surface. Things that areseenare like that part above the surface. Like the tip of an iceberg, it is a very small part of the bigger total picture. Learning this way can be like trying to connect the dots with a dot-to-dot picture in our minds. It requires seeking, and working to discern.

To Learn

As a student of Teaching Self-Government over the past year, I have been studying it’s teaching methods, strengths, and weaknesses. One thing I have noticed is that Nicholeen teaches by principle. Learning this way can be somewhat ambiguous when someone wants to know all the “p’s and q’s” of what to do. One thing I have come to understand about Nicholeen’s teaching style is that when she answers questions she will usually address theunseenparadigm behind the behavior. Then she will discuss the actualseenbehavior and what can be done about it. To effect true lasting change we must understand what isunseen, and we must also assertively work to change the behavior of what isseen.

So it is with life. Our learning opportunities lie before us and it is up to each of us to ask, seek, and knock. I know how it feels at times when we just wish someone would tell us exactly what we need to do. Sometimes that is needed and good. And sometimes we need to be the ones digging in our own dirt to find the answers.

This week’s Video Gem(5:29)is from a question Nicholeen is often asked: “How do I get my husband to care about this too?”

Theunseenprinciple behind this video is to change yourself, as we have been talking about previously in these Gems. If changing yourself is the foundation we are currently working on, we will have much better footing to move up the pyramid toward building relationships and correcting behavior. To read more on this seeThe Parenting Pyramid.This perspective of understanding helps us to understand why it is so important to spend time building relationships, instead of only focusing on correcting behavior.

To Apply

Your challenge assignment this week, should you choose to accept it, is topush pause to connect when things go wrong so that you can help things go right. (This is discussed more in the above article.) Stop pushing forward, look in their eyes, read a book, or do something that helps you connect with them.

To Share

One example of something I did today to pause was in a moment when I felt I wasn’t being calm. I went outside and sat down on the steps. For about three minutes I closed my eyes and really listened. I listened to nature and all the quiet sounds all around me. I heard the birds all around me, near and far. I heard the wind blowing through the trees above me. Then I opened my eyes and looked up. I saw the sun dancing off the leaves as the blew in the breeze. I felt that after closing my eyes so I could really pay attention to truly listen, that I could then open my eyes to truly see better. When my 5-year old daughter came out a minute later to sing me a song, I was ready once again to be calm, to think of her needs, and to connect to what I needed to do as her mother to teach her the right way.

None of us have perfect lives. Weather or not we imagine someone else to be above us or below us, the truth is that we are fundamentally all the same.

To the Victory of Your Family,

Pennie Rumsey

Student Inspirer