Trapped

The situation has become challenging. The initial excitement has faded, and we've been stuck in a negative cycle for two months. My son knows the drill, skills pre teaches and processes by heart, but he struggles with applying them. He reacts similarly to when he was a toddler, throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way. You suggested focusing on one fun activity a week and prioritizing family life to improve parenting, but it's been overwhelming. At home, there's constant messes and chaos, while outside, everything seems perfect. My son's behavior is so calm, polite, and respectful if we go out for activities, and he is like the Hulk at home, literally erupting at every little situation. His behavior is so different depending on the setting. If we have friends over, the behavior is perfect too. For example: we use the Good and the Beautiful curriculum, if we do it with friends he can finish in an hour and a half, alone it can take two day. My son is so helpful and polite when he is happy and he is happy with friends and outdoors. If we stay inside, he spends the day screaming at his sister, which leads to him screaming at me, and it causes a big strain in my husband's relationship with him. Despite following a consistent parenting emphasizing connection and praise, my son often loses control, leading to frequent conflicts.When I give a correction, he feels the need to argue, which leads to him getting a correction for arguing, then it spirals and each situation ends with 3 practices that ends up leading him to lose instructional control. He earns the rule of 3 twice a week and takes three days to accept each consequence. I feel trapped and anxious, unsure of how to improve the situation, especially with my husband's work being affected. He screams while my husband is in meetings. How can I address these challenges effectively? I’m happy with my progress, I’m happy that I can remain calm. I’m happy that I don’t have to be sucked in, but my son is not internalizing this and my husband is over this too. I’ve taken my son on dates, I’ve asked him how he envisions our relationship, I’ve talked about vision with him. He asks for spankings, and so does my husband. He says he wants more prizes for not throwing fits. I’m not budging. He needs to learn how to self govern, but he does not understand cause and effect. He blames everyone but himself for his behaviors and doesn’t take responsibility. How do I help him?