consequences

Hello- We need more help. Please tell me where to find, or walk me through, step by step, what to do about chores. We took the 3 day class and have paid for a mentoring session but it has been a few weeks and we have not heard anything about setting it up. We are really struggling with consequences. We keep telling the youth that this is not about the task, but the skills and that they are not practicing the skills. I pre-teach saying " I need you to disagree appropriately or say okay or you can earn a chore." A couple of the kids do not care and will quickly go through the chores, major maintenance, SODAS, and are almost at loss of privileges before they do what they are asked. But then, they won't do the consequences. How do I proceed? Do I start at the beginning? Do I go onto the loss of privileges? What do I do? The kids don't do chores, even simple ones like role playing, unless they want something- like playing with a friend. Sometimes it is a day or two before they do the chores and I can't keep it straight. I fear emotional parenting and getting angry so that is why I don't push them doing their consequences. I don't want any buttons to push, but I have a lot of them and I am afraid of yelling at them and going all back brain on them. They get so defiant about completing consequences. We have the cards. We have the book. We took the class. We have a standard and an economy. We do weekly family meetings and mentor meetings, but I just cannot get the hang of the Rule of 3 and follow through of consequences. I really, really struggle with this and, as a result my husband does too. He took the class and uses the cards and does all the meetings with me. Please advise. This is a daily occurrence. Thank you!