Parenting burnout

Dear Nicholeen,
After a three-month stay with my parents, we’ve returned home. I’m proud to share that I maintained calm during our visit, which helped us navigate conflicts without arguments.
Now back home, I’m struggling to cope. The baby’s irregular sleep patterns have left me exhausted, and my 7 and 8-year-old children have started to physically hurt each other. Despite our efforts to instill family standards and practice them regularly, this behavior persists. We’ve even captured it on camera, revealing that my son seems to be provoking my daughter, possibly out of jealousy, as he often faces consequences while she does not.
I’ve come to realize that I may have been misapplying the TSG principles, particularly the rule of three, which I now understand is meant to be a rare corrective measure rather than a frequent punishment. My son has faced this consequence 10 to 15 times a month which seems to have created a negative cycle.
He’s been trying to contribute positively, like waking up early to make the family breakfast, but this has resulted in wasted food due to his cooking skills not being fully developed. When I asked him to stop, it hurt his feelings, and I fear this has further strained our relationship.
Accepting ‘no’ for an answer remains a challenge for my son, leading to emotional outbursts. I’ve realized that my previous approach of saying ‘yes’ to avoid conflict was not helpful in the long run, but in the short term it’s so much easier.

Could you please clarify what you mean by “tolerances are too high”? I misunderstood that as I needed to use the rule of three more which resulted in a lot of negative behavior, and a bad cycle . Also, how can I correctly apply the rule of three with an eight-year-old to break this cycle and foster a more harmonious family environment? Right now I am on survival mode. What should my focus be if I cannot focus on everything and I cannot do it all.
Thank you for your guidance.