Appropriate TSG expectations for 4 1/2 year old

Hi Nicholeen,

Can you go over some principles of TSG adapted to a 4 1/2 year old? He is a bright kid and can be very pleasant but TSG has been much bumpier with him than his older siblings and I'm struggling to figure out how to keep it age appropriate while also keeping my tolerances in a good place.

Some behaviors we are struggling with:
Covers ears or buries head when I try to pre-teach or do a correction
Can be very sweet and well-behaved one minute and then trying to hurt his brothers with a belt the next
Frequently tells me consequence is too hard and it's going to take forever (ie. Picking up toys that I'd guess he could do in less than 5 min). Or will follow an instruction but won't look at me or say okay.

He's the 5th of 6 kids so we've opted to do a modified rule of 3 with him which seems to work generally but I haven't figured out how to do it without giving him my full attention the entire time which doesn't always feel possible with a large family.
He tends to get especially challenging during the hour before dinner when I'm more focused on older kids who haven't been home and I'm guessing he is worn out from preschool (3 afternoons/week).
He can be especially difficult when I need to leave for a short time to pick up an older sibling. There are other older siblings home that I'm comfortable leaving him with but he's had a number of meltdowns whether I take him with or leave him home. These times and others can be challenging when I don't feel like I can start a correction because another child has a time sensitive need.

We've also had some wins . . .tonight he did a great job learning how to clean the toilet during his loss of privileges and finally began following instructions. It seems like in many situations he's quick to go to his back brain and becomes difficult to reason with.