We had some great questions on the call today. Here are a few of the things we discussed:

• Thoughts on the changes brought by the new year
• Discussion on choosing to parent differently than I was raised
• What is personal vision and how can it be achieved?
• My 4-year-old who has had several behaviors I have not known what to do with. What are appropritate consequences for his actions?
• I'm notsureifIam lecturingor if I am being deliberate.Whatisthedifference?
• I keep hearing about relationships and sacrifice. What am I supposed to be sacrificing to be able to improve relationships?

Today Nicholeen answered these questions:

• Our favorite holiday traditions.
• My 8 year old is having anxiety at bedtime and she says she is scared. My husband says she is manipulating me. What do you think about the "crying it out" philosophy? How can I help her not be scared?
• I have a 16 year old daughter who is struggling with depression and I don't know what to do. What can I do to help her?
• I've been working with my 20 month old to follow instructions. Sometimes she does great and we dance when she checks back. Lately she's been forgetting to check back. Is the praise getting old?
• I recently listened to your "Starting your Homeschool Right" talk in which you mention teaching your children to read with forty minutes and four songs. Is that a product that is still available? Can you elaborate on this?
• My four year old son is struggling to follow instructions and I am getting frustrated. I feel like I am ordering him around and I'm afraid he won't follow the instruction. I just keep trying to force, and it don't work at all. I am falling short somewhere. I'm not exactly sure what I am missing. I love your quote of "Speed is not nearly important as the impact. Can you elaborate on this? What can I do to be more calm and trust that he will follow my instructions?
• My 4 year old son has asked to 'borrow' toys from friends and when I say no, he puts the toys in his pockets. My friend suggested he go give the toy back himself instead of me doing it. How would you handle this?

Today Nicholeen answered questions about:

• What is ex-post-facto law? How can it help me to stop spontaneously giving consequences to my children?
• We have been having success with the older children by using the flow of the choices map and the rule of three, but I still struggle with the younger ones. Can you skip the first steps for more serious misdeeds like hitting/name-calling? Where or when on the chart would you fit in a loss of screen/treat privilege?
• If you need to get calm, and your children follow you to your calm spot what should you do?
• My 14-year-old daughter has seen a judge and will be going to live in a foster home. I need to know what to expect and how to best help her through this. How can I best work with the legal system? How much say do I have?
• I have twin teen daughters who are detached from the family because we have such busy lives. I see them going down a path I sent down. How can I help them develop good self-worth?

Today Nicholeen answered these questions:

• I recently learned of a program called "Celebrate Calm". They teach some distracting techniques to getting calm. Does something like this ever have a place in TSG? If I distract him from a tantrum am I tricking him or helping him in the long run? Learn how to teach your child skills that will help him choose not have the temper tantrum in the first place.
• I want my daughter to learn to speak with her own voice and not mine. How do I make the transition from whispering her talks in her ear to her writing and speaking with her own voice. Learn how to help your child write their own talks and also what other amazing results can happen when a child learns to speak with their own voice.
• We will soon be adopting my husband's 3-year-old nephew. What can we do to prepare and help him once he gets here? See how TSG can help you make smoother family transitions.
• I have to sit with my 9-year-old son to practice his cello. How do I get him to not hate his music practice time? Learn how you can inspire your child to study music by letting go of the anxiety and the power struggle.
• I had someone tell me they think my son and I are ADD. Should I get my son tested? Learn how can TSG help ADHD children to overcome the challenges of learning disorders.
• My 20-month old daughter is trying to potty train. Is she ready?
• How is the Aponte family doing in Guatemala?

On today's call, Nicholeen answered the following questions:

• My parents have a 28 years old son living at home. He has no job, and he is addicted to online gaming. The only advice they've received is that they need to kick him out, but they don't feel that that is the right thing to do. Would you describe what you would do in this situation?
• What do you recommend be the consequence for sneaking out a bedroom window? My 14-year-old will be going before a judge next week and the probation officer is going to recommend that she go to detention. What do you think of programs where one can send a troubled teen for a few months
• This question is somewhat of a "disagree appropriately" to a previous question discussed some time ago on emotionally emoting. I have been thinking about a question you discussed some time ago about emotional vomit and the story discussed in someone else's article of the little girl who had to "just get it out" in the morning and then she was better.Do you think there is a natural biological process in cleansing emotionally? What process do you go through to cleanse out negative emotion?
• In your book you talk about high tolerances and low tolerances. Is it possible to have too low of a tolerance of behaviors? My husband is a very exact person. If he tries do something he follows the rules exactly. Is there room for mercy in this parenting method? While this is a great blessing to our family it is also difficult as the kids get consequences for every single wrong action. Is there anything more I can do or is it just a case of waiting till my husband conquers this?
• We are having a dawdling problem of epic proportions at our house! Both my 9-year-old son and my 12-year-old son are having troubles with this issue. I feel like I am having to crack a whip all day long to keep things productive and am getting a bit stressed out. What are your suggestions?
• I have noticed that I typically sound mean/stern when I correct him. What is the best way to change your tone and transmit love while correcting? How do I gain that trust that they want to do good?

Today Nicholeen answered these questions:

• My 14-year-old is running away frequently as a power struggle. Is the 24 hours loss of privileges a big enough consequence?
• My children ask for toys all the time at the store. Would allowance help with this? How can I teaching him to have a good relationship with money?
• Is loosing a snack a better consequence than doing an extra chore? I feel like when my 5-year-old earns extra chores it makes it harder on me than him. How can I fix this?
• I want my son to have a more active mentoring relationship with his Scout Leader. How can I foster a better relationship to help him?
• My 15-year-old son is a good kid but he'd developing a problem with lying. Would my catching him in the lie ruin my relationship with him? What can I do to help him?

Today Nicholeen answered these questions:

• How Do I Get Them To Do Their Chores?
• What do I do if my husband doesn't want to lead family meetings?
• How do I improve the depth of my communication with my husband?
• Simulations and Debriefing on The Blanket & Pinata
• Soft Hold- When, How, and How Long?
• Two ways of transformational change
• How do I train my selfish 11-year-old to become a man?
• Addicted to Sugar
• Honesty Talks With Kids About Santa and The Birds And The Bees

Today Nicholeen answered these questions:

• A friend of mine has an extremely shy child that has a hard time going to church class or preschool class by herself. What is the best way to help with that? I also babysat a boy the other day that just turned 3. He cried for the 1st 4 hours. His mom just got a new job after having the whole summer off with him. I tried everything but nothing worked. What else could I have done?
• My 14-year-old daughter doesn't want to participate in anything religious anymore. Is it ever appropriate to “push” religion? Some people tell me to give her choice, but I feel like inside that I'm doing something wrong if I do that. Can I expect her to follow an instruction on this?
• What is the difference between parent counseling session vs. mentor sessions? How is the structure, content, and purposes different?