Undoing screen dependency in a home with 2 parenting philosophies

Hello,

Last week you spoke about screen addictions & thought patterns developing early and about 1 child being much more drawn to and susceptible to screens. It got me thinking about our family.
In our home, we did use screens a lot to distract our children when they were little, often leaving them watching children’s DVDs or even tablets at restaurants etc.

Social media also came out when our 16 year old son was just born, so we began using it more as parents and connecting with friends and family on Facebook etc.

What’s changed over the years are several things. First, we decided to get our oldest son and middle son a phone when they started 6th grade, because their school was mixed with high school and further away from our home. I was more hesitant but Mom was more fearful of not being able to communicate with them when they were in school.

The other things that evolved over the years was we then let them use social media apps (snap, instagram, TikTok, YouTube), when they became so common amongst their peers. Again, I was more hesitant but Mom was afraid they would t have friends or be able to interact with them, and be outcasts.

As you know, the intensity of these apps and their use has grown exponentially in society and as our boys have grown through puberty and adolescence, misuse of these became a problem in addition to dependency. This changed.

Also, with a lot of reading and research over the years, my personal view of these apps and how I’ve used them has changed a lot (which is to say, I hardly use them at all). My wife uses Facebook a lot and I worry she has a dependency as well to these apps although she doesn’t realize it.

To my questions…because of all of this I’ve used the privilege of media apps as my primary first tool to have the children use there skills, and I’m now using chores successfully as well, and withholding tech privileges until they accept and do their chores or consequences (thank you, this has been a game changer!). I stop short of reducing use of these more, but I still struggle wondering if I’m doing enough on this. Mom has argued I’m being too strict on removing tech privileges, especially with our oldest who I feel has the greatest dependency.

How could I nudge my wife towards seeing the technology issue and how critical it is and what a negative force it has become? I feel like it’s so hard to get her to see this because it would require she acknowledge she also has a dependency.

Thanks