TSG and the parent

Did you get this question last night? I submitted at midnight but it had a message it could not go through.

How do the 4 Skills work for parents to model? I find myself Disagreeing appropriately by beginning, “I am going to disagree appropriately…” Is this okay? And I am really trying to focus on Step 2 of all the skills….the calm voice, face, and body and to do that I am often just taking deep breaths and not responding because when I am not calm, I react and don’t think through the steps well. When I do this the youth often thinks I have relented because I am not giving chores or moving to the Rule of 3. Is it okay to just focus on my modeling the behaviors I desire in them and focus on being the person I want to be instead of the consequences and rule of 3? We have been doing TSG since January when we did the class and I have felt a prompting from the Holy Spirit to work on me first. Focus on my behavior, my skills, etc. and I am struggling to do that and give consequences. I realized that even when I LOOK calm, inside I am , and I need to be to calm on the inside or eventually I parent from the not calm place in my brain. Thank you.