Rule of 3 older youth

We have a 16 yo son who has trouble recognizing parent and child roles. He lives with mom and dad and is 3rd of 5 kids (oldest at home) Very habituated to power struggle and “be right” at any cost with us. We have been teaching and using the rule of 3 when he is out of control for the last few months. He will usually calm down by the last 3 minutes. However, any time the issue that he was losing control over (usually a disappointment or no answer or correction) is revisited, he goes out of instructional control again. No matter how long it is after the initial incident. We feel trapped and like we cannot progress in any conflict. What do we do about the rule of three at that point? What is next? Just keep doing it over and over? Sorry if you answer this question all the time. We have looked for an answer to this online and haven’t been able to find it. We are new and trying to figure it all out. Thanks.