power struggles, calm

Nicoleen, We really appreciate you and your program. I am hoping that our family will be such an inspiration at some point to others in our homeschool groups that more families will begin Teaching Self Government. My husband and I are closer than we have been in a long time and united in a common purpose for our family. Thank you. All the family meetings, mentor meetings, etc. are going well. We have not gotten the hang of the 3 part praise or done any parent counseling sessions, or been very successful with chores yet, but the skills are coming along and family time is happening more often.

Here is my situation and question. I am getting so angry with my 8 year old. SOOO angry. My calm flies out the window with him. How can I stay calm when he is so defiant and talks back? I don't know how to use the skills or chores with him well. When I ask him to come do school, he goes and gets food saying he is hungry. He is like a Hobbit. When we ask him to do chores he goes and does something else. When we ask him to get ready for bed he takes the eternal poop while reading magazines. He is the king of procrastination and excuses for anything he does not want to do. My husband and I both lose it with him and get sooo frustrated. We seem to forget the skills, all calm, how to implement chores, etc. in the face of his procrastination and excuses. It is enough to make us want to give up, except Teaching Self Government is working so well for all the other kids. He is 4th of 5 and was the baby of the family for 7 years. I cannot help but feel that because we are calmer, but not perfect, with the other kids that he feels less connected with us and more singled out and separate from the family because of all the negative interactions. How can my husband and I maintain our calm and help him to not procrastinate and find excuses for so many of the instructions we give him? "I need you to come do your school?" Off he goes to make a bowl of cereal. "We need you to get your pajamas on and brush your teeth?" Off he goes to poop and read magazines. "I need to you to put away your clothes." Off he goes to read in his bed. It really is soooo hard!! Our tolerances are probably too high. Help!