PDA
I’d be curious what you’d do with a PDA kid who has a nervous system reaction when they are given a demand.
Do you know much about PDA (pathological demand avoidance)? It’s underneath the umbrella of autism. I know you usually say TSG is compatible with autism, but this is a unique form of autism where they recommend lowering demands, rephrasing demands as questions, mitigating the appearance of hierarchy, etc. It appears TSG practices (saying “I need,” having children say specific things, teaching roles is incompatible with people with PDA, but I’d be curious to get your thoughts.
ttps://www.pdasociety.org.uk/life-with-pda-menu/family-life-intro/helpful-approaches-children/
These are some of the recommendations from the PDA society.
Reducing the perception of demands
Re-framing demands to make them feel less ‘demandy’ is a key technique. There are lots of ways to do this – you will probably find that a ‘mix and match’ approach works best:
Phraseology and tone: subtle adaptations to our language and tone can benefit our children greatly. Using declarative language (statements, comments or observations), or rephrasing things to talk about an object rather than a person, and even simple things like starting rather than ending requests with the word ‘please’ can all make a big difference. For instance, when getting ready for school you might say “The clothes are on the bed, I’m happy to help” and then walk away, rather than “You need to get dressed now”; or if your child hasn’t had a drink all day you might just place the drink alongside them and say “Here’s a drink”. Similarly phrases such as “I wonder whether …” and “Let’s see if …” and including words that suggest an element of choice, such as “maybe we could …” or “a possible idea could be ….” or “I’m not sure if …” all reduce the perception of demands. Likewise it’s helpful to avoid trigger words like “no”, “don’t” or “can’t” – you can convey the same message using different terminology (e.g. “I’m afraid it’s not possible right now”) and if possible also explain the reason and offer alternatives whilst delivering the message (e.g. “I’m afraid it’s not possible to go to the park right now because there’s a storm, but we can try this afternoon when the forecast is better and in the meantime would you like to bake a cake or watch a film?”). Please see the very practical Declarative Language Handbook for more information and ideas.
Indirect communication: indirect communication includes physical