Out of Instructional Control

Hi Nicholeen,
My family just started implementing Teaching Self-Government a few months ago, and I can already begin to tell a huge difference in our family. Thank you so much for your ministry to all of us families. You are a blessing!

I have two boys, ages 9 and 7, both of whom had some past trauma and were recently diagnosed with ADHD. My question is about my younger son. When he would have moments of being out of instructional control, I would walk him to our calm down spot, which is our couch (which I also pre-taught him) and I would do a gentle hold, all while he was trying to scratch and bite and pinch me (which he has never tried to do before). We’ve done this about four times now and I see that it makes him more angry, and I’ve recently heard your advice for not getting pulled into his power struggle by physically restraining him when he’s out of instructional control, but my question is this: what if he’s outside and he refuses to get into instructional control and I need him in the house for safety reasons? Do I pick him up and at least get him into the house where I know i know he’s safe? Also, I feel like, as a sign of respect to us as his parents, he needs to sit on our couch or go to his room to get calm, but this last time when he was out of instruction control, I did not go get him and pick him up, and he ended up crawling/sliding around the floor of the house. It really bothered me (even though I stayed calm on the outside) because I feel it as a sign of disrespect…