Oppositional 3 year old

We have a 3-year-old who can be very oppositional. He seems to have a very singular focus which is often quite detail oriented. Often when we give him an instruction or even attempt to get his attention and he's focusing on something else he will get very upset. Or sometimes it is when we (or someone else like his siblings) do something and a particular detail in what we are doing isn't how he how he imagined, or wanted. When these situations ocur he will get very upset. His reaction ranges from an upset "NO" to yelling really bad names at us and storming off. When he gets in that state he usually ends up yelling/crying and he can take quite a long time to calm down. I think he is too young to do rule of three. And it seems our calm down spot is becoming less effective than it used to be. These sessions can happen very regularly. I am worried that this repetitive bad state will be affecting him negatively.