Internalizing good behavior

We've acted on your advice and switched to a gluten, sugar, and dairy-free diet, which seems to be positively affecting us. For example, my son, who used to endure consequences like 24 hours of no privileges three times a week, hasn't faced any this month. This progress feels like a significant achievement for us!

You recommended cutting back on outings and spending more time at home, which we attempted but found challenging. With my husband working from home, the space felt crowded, cleaning was a struggle, and I felt somewhat confined, so we reverted to our usual routine.

While my kids thrive in public settings, they sometimes struggle at home. My 12-month-old loves showing off, smiling, waving, and pointing to letters and sounds, even trying to read. However, at home, he engages in disruptive behavior like tearing books, knocking over trash cans, and having accidents. This behavior contrasts sharply with his behavior in public.

I believe the underlying issue in my family is jealousy. My 7-year-old daughter is adored by everyone for her easygoing nature, while my son, who puts in extra effort but struggles with social cues and using his skills effectively, isn't as well-liked. This dynamic creates negative energy that I hope we can address as a family.

Regarding my 8-year-old son's behavior, he is exceptionally well-behaved, polite, and curious in public. He demonstrates all his skills perfectly outside the home but struggles with them at home. This is why I enjoy going out; everyone can showcase their skills, and we have a pleasant time.

However, despite my 8-year-old's improved behavior at home this month, he had a setback by earning two sodas, which disqualified him from his epic prize. Since then, he's been earning two sodas daily. Rewards have become more of a challenge than a solution in the long run, but I'm struggling to motivate him without them.

I'm unsure how to help him internalize these positive changes without relying solely on rewards. Do you have any suggestions for fostering lasting behavioral improvements? Now that he has to start over, he seems less motivated to control himself. What steps should I take?