How to not power struggle in the rule of 3

Hi Nicholeen,
My 5 year old is currently out of instructional control with a 3 hour loss of privelages through the modified rule of 3. He’s driving me crazy. I’m trying so hard to stay calm and not power struggle but he is a professional power struggler/button pusher when he wants to be. Things like snatching my phone and running away with it while I’m trying to listen to past support calls for advice. Pulling my hair band out of my hair. Sneaking privelages. Scattering things around the house that I don’t want scattered, like daddy’s ties. In the past I’ve used the ace card of – if he sneaks privelages I’ll have to get rid of the privelages. Aka threatening to get rid of his toys. But I’m realizing that’s still power struggling. Am I just supposed to let him walk all over our family and miss the privelages I have easy control over long enough to have a change of heart? I’m stuck between“give the other kids attention” and on the other hand “work on my relationship with him.” He loves it when I work on my relationship with him while his privelages are gone because he’s getting attention. But it feels manipulative like he’s milking the attention with no intention of earning the privelages back. Almost like he loves the attention of being difficult and needing extra attention. As I’m typing this he was tug of warring with a child who was trying to stop him from using a tie to pull around a suitcase (causing damage to the tie.). I’m trying to ignore these behaviors because if I go to take the tie away he runs away like it’s a game and like he succeeded in pushing my button. If I soft hold he loves to fight me in the hold, or snuggles in like he’s finally getting attention – with no intent of accepting the consequences. The things he earned the rule of 3 over are so minor compared to how this is dragging out, but I’m trying (and feel like I’m failing miserably) to make sure he gets the opportunity to really accept this consequence, hoping that it will pay off in the long run. So that brings me back to the point of my question, how do I handle the time between loss off privelages and accepting the consequences when the child is trying to undermine the family in every way possible, but not necessarily behaviors so severe that require soft hold? Btw I am trying to do corrections like you said in other questions but on the other hand I’m just trying to ignore his behaviors because he’s trying to get a reaction out of me, in my efforts to stop him.