Expectations

Do I have unrealistic expectation's thinking that twin 6 year old’s and a9 year old after 5 years of teaching them how much shampoo to use, toothpaste etc. Tthat left alone today Lily
dumped out 3 containers of shampoo. This is being done with paint, marker s spread all around the house. Which I have told them repeatedly not to do. Yet they continue to do these wasteful huge messes. I don’t remember my children ever or me or my husband when we were kids even thinking of doing these shocking behaviors. Do I just not remember correctly or is this not normal behaviors. I had these Grandchildren on kinship for a time. Their mother died suddenly when the twins were two. I am now helping my son, it is so exhausting as he cannot cope without us helping him. I found it so much easier when I had my own kids than being this combo mother/grandmother.