Emotional bondage habit after loss of privilege

Hi Nicholeen, I pray you and your family are well! My health seems to be going a bit downhill and my energy level isn’t so great. Not only is my body struggling with hoshimoto’s but I have mold and lyme and now lupus, I’m in bed a lot. I know this affects my family and I’m sad about it because I don’t know how much longer this will last as I’ve already been dealing with hoshimoto’s for 16 years. This is a worry on my mind but I really need to ask about my 10 year old son who constantly goes into emotional bondage when he looses privileges. He’s wearing down a path deeper and deeper in his brain every time I say ok you’ve lost your privileges mostly because once we get to the third instruction, I give it to him, say, to clean off the kitchen table and I leave the room, he initiates play with his siblings because he’s extremely play driven. Then he immediately throws a fit for loosing privileges and now it’s become a definite habit and we’ve explained this to him and so many other things to continue to get him to see and understand and have a change of heart but he continues to power struggle. The night before was tough as we let him know whatever he wanted to keep to put on the bed but if his room wasn’t clean we were going to bag up and toss and he refused to follow instructions all day and was very disrespectful all day thinking we weren’t really going to do that so his dad had to soft hold him as he raged screaming the whole time when I went in to bag/clean it up. The next morning he continued to try and be angry but when we did our devotion we were on Luke 11:29 where Jesus said this was an evil generation demanding a sign but all the sign they’ll get is that of Jonah because Jonah came preaching repent and they repented but now someone greater than Jonah is there and Jesus’s generation refused to repent. And we likened that to his behavior so a little while after that reading, (after it has been a week again of a loss of privilege for him and out of instructional control behavior), he asked to start his 24 hrs. but always at the end of the day (he usually tries more in the daytime but by evening he let’s things build up on him emotionally and he’s ready to explode) when something doesn’t go his way or he doesn’t follow all 5 steps of following an instruction 5 times (2 extra chores and rule of 3) he gets angry and gives up. So he lost his privileges again the same day he started them last night refusing to start his time and just playing and telling me no to every instruction and eating sweets. He also targets his 7 year old sister leaving bruises on her body and choking her. Thank you for your help!