Dealing with tactical talking over when correcting or teaching

Hello,

We have a teenage child who is 16 and has displayed oppositional behavior and choices over the last two years or so. I believe in trying to seek first to understand and also with my tendency being a questioner, I asked him questions but then that leads to rebellious answers which if I address gets us off course. I find myself struggling often when trying to correct and teach him because he repeatedly interrupts and talks over me, power struggling about 95% of the time. He also does not make eye contact, and if not rolling his eyes, yawning excessively, and he makes squinting and mocking facial gestures, or literally turns his back or closes his eyes and makes pretend he’s sleeping throughout most of the time when being corrected or when we are going through describing what just happened. He absolutely and makes pretend he doesn’t understand what I’m saying, especially when pointing out his choices and behaviors.

I’ve felt it’s important not to give him a crutch such as ADHD comes with impulse controls, and asking him to listen without speaking and letting me finish. This often seems to become a power struggle as he continues to interrupt and talk over me. I’ve tried to stop and listen more often, to allow him to feel heard however this sidetracks the conversation and prolongs it and it really feels more like a power struggle when I do that. I’ve tried calmly speaking over him and continuing to speak, repeating messages very slowly often, which still feels like a bit of a power struggle because he refuses to listen and continues to argue back.

I want to move away from long lectures, but do feel that sometimes there’s been some breakthrough moments during a long talk. But this also takes away time from our other two children who are making better choices and cooperating more. Maybe a part of me also feels that through repetition, and hearing a message over and over, it will eventually stick?

How would you recommend handling this, especially when given a child who may be neurologically atypical, extremely intelligent and fixates on things and wants to win every point of every argument, with every opportunity possible!

Thank you as always