What consequences to you recommend for violence? My kids are 8 and 6 and have some trauma. Today my 6 year old got triggered and went from totally fine to spitting in my wife's face. My 8 year old will latch onto our legs if she doesn't want us to leave the room. And then lighter hits. Today my 6 year old gave the 8 year old a pound on the back for turning away from him when he was trying to apologize to her for something else.
We have a rule that any type of 'harassment' earns a major maintenance. This includes physical harassment or verbal harassment (mostly name-calling). For their ages we have Major Maintenances at 15 minutes. But is something bigger in order?
Related, at what point when going physically out of control would you recommend a Loss of Privileges? Say my 6 year old, during a correction, started being violent towards me and would not stop, and say I had to do a soft hold. (Not sure what you recommend at these ages.) We've been skipping the rule of three in this instance and giving a loss of privileges right away, regardless of where we were in the process.
Thoughts?