Bullet Points from a questioner, on dealing with OOIC (out of instructional control

-when I asked our son (16) to go to the chores chart to review his choices, he made mocking gestures & sounds & stated he didn't have to, & I had to let him do his chores instead. How would you handle this?
-when he does not accept consequences, I explain we are going to begin the rule of 3, & he argues incessantly talking over me attempting to seemingly not let me continue the process & stating he hasn't earned the rule of 3. Would you go straight to 24 hours in this scenario? I feel like if not, the talking over doesn’t let the talk or script continue.
-how should I handle when I tell him that we are taking a 15 minute break & I will check back with him to see if he is ready to accept consequences come up & he follows me & begins to tap me incessantly or try to take his phone from my pocket, or continues to escalate making threat like statements (it's gonna be really bad if you don't give me my phone) or disrespectful statements (you're a bad father, that’s why no one F-ing likes you bro, etc) sometimes with profanities. Currently, I have pre taught him that these are choices that go to straight to 24 hours loss of privilege, even if he has not earned the chores & exercises for not using skills prior to this.
-when he earns a 24 hr loss of privilege, sometimes he will forcibly grab things like the PC cable or TV power cable, to prevent me from removing the technology. He's 16 & we've had physical encounters so I want to know how I could handle this, within TSG & minimizing the risk of physical encounters which could escalate. Should I let him steal the privileges & tack on more time? I've tried pretty intensive technology controls but he hacks often. Very intelligent
-Don’t know how to get my wife to be more accepting of TSG & less blaming. When he goes out of inst. control, she does NOT see he’s choices, but blames the program (me). She recently said TSG is killing us, it’s killing her and it’s killing our son. I am honestly concerned for our marriage, & feel like this could break our family. I know it’s not TSG, but I really feel like she is so against that she will not ever see her and our son’s choices. I could really use some feedback and encouragement here. Thank you!