Are you on the way or in the way? A choice

Hello. I thought I would share some progress & especially try to reach parents out there who are not on board with TSG in your home.

I’ve shared some of our story on prior occasions, but in short, I have been implementing TSG, while my wife has not been on board. Nevertheless, I have continued to do my best, & thank Nicholeen for her continued reinforcement, sharing how she has seen it done with other families, even when it’s just 1 parent implementing. With every week that passes, I am more a true believer of the program and the principles.

This weekend, my wife took our daughter on a quick getaway for a friends birthday, & I stayed home with our boys (16 and 13). Our 16-year-old has been extremely challenging over the last couple of years, struggling with ADHD & ODD tendencies. Originally, I was going to spend the weekend by myself at a beach getaway, leaving the boys with their grandparents (who are very much like my wife, modern progressive/permissive). God apparently had a different plan because I was under the weather, and chose to stay home. Admittedly I did feel God moving me to do the hard thing, and teach with love and patience, seeing it as an opportunity for me to continue to work towards calmness & TSG.

Well, the weekend went smoothly. There was cooperation, respect, calmness, and even some regular old chores when we got back from church, and I told the boys I needed their help cleaning up before we watched football (incidentally, our 16-year-old getting up for church is quite the accomplishment.) this is a phenomenon I’ve experienced several times. When mom isn’t around, there is a lot more calmness and cooperation from our children. they don’t like TSG, but they are accepting it little by little, but I found it interesting that it seems when mom isn’t around, they simply don’t whine or complain as much (especially since it’s no longer effective with Dad).

I’d love to say that this has changed our family, but I haven’t even shared this with my wife because I doubt she is ready for that type of critique. My hope is that it can help someone else out there, who is struggling with a coparenting partner. Nothing is perfect, no one person or strategy is perfect, but I can only tell you that working together would certainly be a lot easier in our household! Nevertheless, stay the course and I hope this helps anyone else out there who’s on the fence. It works! Stick with it

Your either on the way or in the way – Les Brown