Am I supposed to feel detached? Or, is that just for Buddhists?

Second question, so can be next week 🙂

Hello! I found myself reflecting on this. I’ve been doing a lot of inner work over the last 2 years, not just through TSG, but through lots of books, therapy (individual & couples) which I recently decided to end, feeling I got enough help through & it was time to continue my journey without it, while staying open to it if my family needs it. I decided to re-read a book I read a few years ago called Loving What is by Byron Katie, & found it to be very instrumental in challenging my thoughts with simple questions when I feel frustrated, angry, sad, etc (I also read The Four Tendencies thanks to Nicholeen, and I am a questioner!). The exercise often reveals to me how we argue with reality, & how that brings us negative feelings.

Anyhow, part of this process from Loving What is through a reflective exercise called The Work, is asking yourself “is it true?” Or “Can you absolutely know that it’s true?” This led me to reflecting on how I’ve felt happier, calmer, more whole & less anxious as I’ve been doing this inner work. Yet, I feel often more detached from my family. No doubt there are times when I feel extremely connected with them, but often that’s not the case. So, Is it true? Am I supposed to feel more attached to my family? And, what does it mean? Does it mean my family & I don’t love each other? If we are not as affectionate as I might think we should be? What if this is what the biblical Agape type of love is? My choice part of it. What if we are living a deeper type of love than a superficial type that many others have? What if this is a process and we are right where we are “supposed to be now”?

I’ve continued to read my vision of our family in 20 years from the Parenting Mastery course. This has helped me to continue to remember the goal, & remember the tone I want to express to my family as best I can, but it also helps me see when we are falling short as a family by looking at phones to much, not eating meals together, not responding to each other, saying insensitive things to one another, not saying hi to each other after school etc. I see these things and they don’t align with my vision but I also remind myself of what’s my task or business, versus each family member’s (The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga, another great book).

Anyhow, sorry if this is a bit scattered, but the question is the title 🙂