5 yo naptime

Hello Nicholeen,

We homeschool and have a pretty flexible schedule. what advice would you give to us about my 5 yo sons refusal to nap? Many people are quick to tell me he has "outgrown" nap time. i would not force the issue if he could in fact be awake and of sound mind but by 4 or 5pm. without a nap by 5pm he easily goes out of instructional control and is an emotional mess. It seems to me that he chooses when he naps and when he doesnt depending on perceived personal gain. He is very intelligent and slightly rebellious. When his brain is tired, he registers it as a sad feeling and not just tired. I believe his inconsistent sleep patterns are indeed leading to him to believe no one loves him. When he is refreshed by a nap he is completely different. Also, he just alerted me that he is too old for naps which apparently is what his grandfather told him this weekend. I have had several conversations with grandparents about other instances in which they are undermining our authority and family rules and still no progress has been made to reverse bad habits they are introducing into our family culture. My husband is tired of hearing about it and i dont know what course of action to take. I realize there are two issues here: 1. the not naping issue 2. grandparents undermining issue. I love my son and want him to be healthy and whole. thank you for your advice.