4 Year Old Bed Time Struggles

Hi!

I have two fantastic girls that I adore, one is 4, almost 5; the other is 2.5. We are just starting our TSG journey, and bedtime is a major obstacle.

My 2.5 year old is usually pretty good at bedtime. Especially if we start at 7pm, she'll be asleep by 7:30pm. Easy. But that means she wakes up between 6-7 am. Which would be fine, except for the 4 year old.

My 4 year old seems like she doesn't need to sleep. We start bedtime with the girls at the same time. She stays awake until 11:30-midnight every single night and wakes up between 6-7am ish. It's exhausting. I can't go to bed until she goes to sleep because she won't stay in bed and will get into stuff. It's happened several times and I don't want her to get hurt. And I also feel like she needs more sleep, so I need to be there to tell her to get back into bed.

She gets out of bed constantly from 7:30-11:30pm for various, ever-changing, reasons. She needs hugs, she wants kisses, can daddy cuddle, can mommy cuddle, can she have more stories, can she read herself stories, can she have different books, can she have snacks, can she have water, can she tell Mommy a story, can Mommy sing her a song, she 'just wanted to say, I love you', she needs to pee (She "pees" at least 5 to 7 times or more in that 4 hour period. She doesn't have a bladder infection, we've checked, it's just a way to get out of bed). My personal favorite is she "needs help praying for peace because baby (2.5 y.o.) is annoying her". I'm having a hard time correcting it because she isn't having an attitude problem, she's happy and most of the stuff she does is trying to connect with us. And I don't want to push her away or not be connecting with her. I want her to feel loved. But I really really need more sleep. And my husband and I need time to bond that doesn't include being interrupted every 5-10 minutes. Side note, I homeschool. I spend all day, every day with her and I focus extensively on giving both my girls attention. I even give the 4 year old extra attention to try to fill the gap that she seems to still have at night. But that means my 2.5 year old gets less attention.

How would you fix this if you were in my place? What are healthy and realistic bedtime expectations/boundaries? How can I be more firm and also meet my child's emotional needs? I'd love some insights and input. I'm sure I'm missing some key component and I just need fresh and experienced eyes on the situation to help me see what I'm overlooking