Mentor and couples meetings

I guess this question is 2 fold. One is about couples meetings and the other is about mentor meetings with the children.
I hate all of them and yet I feel such connection the few times they have been successful. It feels so heavy to try to make these meetings happen when everyone is digging their feet into the ground about it.
I know that the feeling in our home would be different if my husband and I were United in gathering together to talk and the children would feel heard and understood and a part of something great if we each met together for a mentor meeting.
How can I get myself to consistently gather my husband and children for these vital meetings? I feel so frustrated about this so I do nothing.