Rule of Three and disagreeing appropriately

Dear Nicholeen,

We have an 8 year old and 14 year old. When you do the rule of three would you advice for the child to be able to disagree appropriately at each stage? Do you also remind them at each stage they can disagree appropriately or should they remember this? Especially, since we have been doing the rule of three for at least 2 months, or would you advice for the child, not to even be given the opportunity to disagree appropriately once you are in the second and third stage of the rule of three? In the prep I remember you advising that we do remind them that one of the choices is to say ''ok'' or ''ok and may I disagree appropriately'' but would you then continue to remind them at stage 2 and 3, in the rule of three?
I see how it would make sense for the child to only have one chance to disagree appropriately as when we enter the rule of three it is because the young person is out of instructional control. So the main issue is that they are not calm. So you give them the chance to disagree appropriately about whatever the issue is once they are calm and then drop the topic. Would that at least answer part of the question above? I hope we are making sense.

We will sadly not be able to attend this call as we are both working and doing school runs at that time of the call ( we live in the UK) so will not be able to answer any questions you have for us in the actual call but we will listen to the recording.