TSG in public

I am realizing more and more that change begins with me and I need to be the person I want my children to be. I need to inspire them and model the skills. My behavior needs to be independent and separate from theirs and not reactive or in response to theirs. I need to do me first and always. It is humbling to realize how much I have to learn and learn to control in my own behavior. My question is this: How do I model TSG, independent of my children’s behavior, in public when surrounded by people I know and am engaging with? Two of my children will come up and nudge, poke, prod, give puppy guys, and escalate to angry words and angry faces when they want to leave church. I have tried to calmly give instructions, calmly tell them to give themselves a “no” answer, tell them they are earning chores, and begin the Rule of Three, but that just seems to make them more confrontational. It is hard to not want to start threatening them and engage in a power struggle when I am trying to have a conversation with a friend and am getting bumped, poked, etc. I definitely am guilty of losing my calm face and I get a stern, but quiet voice by the end. I end up not going all the way through the Rule of Three because I get desperate to have the physical bumping and poking and nudging stop because it gets increasingly rougher and if I move away, they just follow me. Help. I want to be the change. I want to know what I can do with ME because I realize I cannot bank on their behavior changing or them seeing that their behavior is inappropriate because I have tried a different approach every week. I have to control me. I need to have a plan for my behavior separate and independent of theirs. I cannot count on them “seeing the light” and agreeing that their behavior is inappropriate. Thank you.