TSG in power struggle

I am terrible at engaging in power struggles. I am definitely the one who allowed them to start and I definitely engage in them out of a strong desire to persuade my youth to agree to my point of view. Not understand it, agree to it and I will lecture and power struggle and argue hoping they will see reason. I am reviewing the chapters on communication and power struggle in your book, but I have a bad habit of engaging in power struggles with my kids ages 15, almost 16, down to 9. Here is my question: What does it look like to use TSG when you realize that you are a few minutes into the power struggle and desperately want it to end and get back on track? How do you use TSG when you get to the: "Oh shoot, I am in a power struggle again and I really, really don't want to be here"? When I hit this point, I want to back up and not engage with my child, but we are in the thick of it and I don't know how to get back to where we need to be, salvage the relationship, and get back some credibility with my child. It bothers me that I don't often see myself in a power struggle until I am there and then I don't know what to do to deescalate the situation and get back on track. Thank you.