Rule of 3 interrupted

Hello!

I know I’ve asked about the Rule of 3 before and recently Nicholeen provided a very detailed and helpful answer (thank you!). I feel like I still struggle with it sometimes and recently had an interaction with our 16 year old son who has been oppositional, defiant and argumentative in the past (a bit better lately but working on it).

Anyhow, I noticed that when I’m trying to do the “prep or pre-teach” part, he often begins talking back, talking over and power struggling (NOT disagreeing appropriately). I point out that he’s interrupting me and not disagreeing appropriately (DESCRIBING the choices and behaviors), but then he argues with that and just about everything.

If I try to give an instruction, if he DOESNT argue and dispute it, lately he’ll do follow the instruction but he’ll show disagreement with facial expressions or murmuring and criticizing even if he does the instruction. (I’ve almost given up on instructions to breathe because he’s said he would NEVER breathe when told, or he’s argued that mouth breathing is unhealthy). He seems addicted to arguing and power struggling and although I feel more calm, and more confident with sticking with the TSG principles, I wonder if I’m missing something still. When. He finally has accepted 24 hours of consequences, I feel like I stay away from praising because he often rejects praise or mocks when he’s praised. I also wonder how much is ADHD and impulse control issues (but then again he shows the ability to restrain himself more outside of our home)

Anyhow, I feel like we’re making progress but I guess I still feel like I’m not as confident that I’ve got the Rule of 3 down properly. As much as I want to pre-teach, I feel like he will do anything and everything to derail and sidetrack the conversation as a way of being able to say he doesn’t know what I’m talking about later. Any thoughts appreciated as always!