Progress…little by little, a little becomes a lot

Hello!

Continuing to practice TSG with our three children, and especially focusing on using chores as consequences. We’ve been having a good amount of progress I feel, with even our oldest 16 year-old son who has been oppositional and defiant to extreme levels in the past, and he has begun to accept consequences, accept chores and go through with them (albeit sometimes with complaints). Our other two children have as well, although they don’t encounter as many consequences and chores as frequently, as they are more cooperative and less defiant.

We did have our 10-year-old daughter go through her first 24 hour period of consequences. I thought it went well, and she initially was very proactive at beginning chores and even giving herself some chores and creating her own list. I think she was hoping for ending early with “good behavior“, and there was a point that she began to disagree inappropriately during the 24 hours and got emotional when I told her that we would have to restart the clock. We didn’t end up doing that, but I did wonder how strict or how flexible I should be, when something like this happens because I felt she was doing a pretty good job and especially for her age and relatively short period of time practicing TSG, but wasn’t sure if I should have simply restarted the clock with her.

With our older 16-year-old son, we have gotten to a point of moving away from 24 hour/Rule of 3, lately, because he has accepted a list of chores for not having followed standing instructions of bringing his phone when it goes on downtime at night to our room to charge and stop using it. This has continued for over a week, so I am also wondering if I should increase the number of chores, or the difficulty of the chores (major maintenance?) Or if I should see this more as continued steps in the right direction for now, even though he continues to have the same infraction over and over. I’ve also thought about a new rule for him of handing his phone over to me when I go to bed, but I know that is a hill I may have to be willing to “die on”, as he and my wife may feel I am a tyrant, removing his ability to socialize!

Thanks for your thoughts as always 🙂