Homeschooling question

I would like some help with homeschool teaching expectations. I yearn for family time where everyone feels seen, heard and wants to linger and listen to each other! Its quite the opposite now.
I am aware that my tendency is a questioner and as an idealist I am always asking "how can we do more/better"? and that leaves a bad feeling for the children who are now really resistant to do anything with me (I imagine because they feel anxious it won't be satisfying or they are resentful that I am asking for more & its a habit), in any group teaching or reading where I have an agenda they talk over me, disregard what I am doing and refuse to listen to the activities I put in front of them.
I wonder if the key is for me to get my needs to be seen and heard before I attempt to create it in the family so I am not anxious that I am "unnourished" and can accept little wins?

It's so bad that the 3 girls don't come to any group time any more or at least don't stay the whole time…they are slow to come, have to be called then they are rude or gruff to each other, they get up, get distracted and then it's just my son who stays and he doesn't feel great because he's just watching me be dissatisfied that not everyone came – daily worship together is especially hard, I find it hard to have family worship and pitch it at a level where everyone feels engaged… i think I am trying to meet my needs for personal development at the same time as leading them along with lots of making it up on the run and trying to please…my husband tends to want to quickly read a chapter of the Bible and move on with no heartfelt anything – I realise he's a rebel tendency and I am lucky he's doing anything but I would LOVE for him to at least give us 3 minutes warning to call us from the rest of the house and then pause and greet each person and have some heartfelt feeling during the interaction or to keep a schedule – but that seems impossible as I am often late with my duties of housework/meals/bedtime routines etc and he's very fluid with his workouts and wants to come and go as he pleases… I yearn for family time where everyone feels seen, heard Ahhh! I don't see how to make the life I desire happen!! I have been told I do need to create a schedule and structure and I find it hard to coordinate myself! I am going back to the vision and the mission but it feels like I am doing it alone and almost against my family and dragging them where they don't want to go.