Parenting Post High School

I have a son who just graduated and is planning to serve a mission in September. During his last year in high school he had a VERY light schedule, and could have gotten a job or could have taken some college courses, but he just wanted to take it easy. He was heavily involved in athletics, so that did complicate his schedule a little. He rarely contributed to housework and he rarely ate at home (He still doesn't eat at home much). I think he has some resistance to spending time with my current husband (his stepdad). He says he just feels "awkward." I would like him to not only get a full time job this summer, but also contribute around the house. He thinks he should be able to hang out with friends and enjoy his last few months of 'freedom.' He got very angry when I told him he needs to be home by midnight and up and ready to go by 9am. When I talk to him about planning what he's going to do for work and how he'll contribute, he accuses me of being controlling, of forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, tells me he hates spending time with me, tells me I'm trying to take advantage of him. I take full responsibility for the areas I've lacked in, specifically consistency in holding him responsible for contributing. He is currently considering working on cars this summer with his dad because he doesn't think he'll earn enough money with a regular job. His dad is extremely erratic when it comes to work or scheduling. What I want: I want the relationship to stay intact and I want my son to work, contribute and benefit from working on all the levels. My question is: How hard should I push the job issue? If he does decide to work with his dad, how do I make sure he actually works full time? Should I just let this go? Should I also address how he's treating me when we're 3 months away from him leaving (especially if he's working with his dad every day, and his dad routinely speaks very badly about me to my kids)? Or do I just let things go? Please advise!