Breathing to help child calm down

Hi dear Nicholeen! Before asking my question I just wanted to thank you for creating the TSG program! We have been so blessed because of it and I will forever be grateful to Heavenly Father for guiding us to you! My question is, how would you handle a situation where your child refuses to take deep breaths to help her get to a place of calmness? Whenever our daughter gets worked up over something and loses control, and I give her the instruction to take deep breaths, she gets even worse. If she does decide to breath, it's completely not calm. She will breath fast and with anger. I've had to start the rule of three on several occasions because she is so out of instructional control over this. I've found that what helps calm herself down is to give her a few minutes alone and checking back with her until she's ready to follow instructions. So I guess that I'm just wondering if I should just avoid the breathing and go straight to the calming approach in her room? But I also would like her to use the breathing technique because in the real world she won't always be able to go to her room to get calm. Any advice?