Teen Daughter

Hi Nicholeen, A few weeks ago I wrote to you that I had discovered my almost 15 year old daughter was writing an outline on why it’s OK to be gay. This week I found that she has been having a lesbian relationship with a girl from an online Great Books Class. They both say that they are trans and want to take gender affirming medication. Our daughter cut her hair off to a short boy's haircut and has been dressing like a man. I told her again I love her, no matter what. I told her I really want to understand what she's going through, but she hasn't opened up. Later I talked to her about the fact that she’s never met this girl and she doesn’t know what she would be like in real life. She said she knows that. I told her I know things have been hard for her this year and we will make plans about how to have more fun. She was happy about that, and seems to be open to bonding more with me. She's upset about her restrictions on the internet, and the attitudes of the Christian boys in her friend group.  She does have three girl friends here that she likes to hang out with that I trust. She had a secret Gmail. Our standards say no emails without parents having a password.  I’m wondering if I should have her cancel that and her original Gmail too, and if I should I not allow her to have Gmail at all. She has not been on Gmail since I discovered this 5 days ago. She had her original Gmail for a few years, so that would be hard for her. Also, considering not enrolling in the online great books class that they met in because of this and because she doesn't seem to focus on it.. That is difficult because both her older siblings did it and we have done two summer camps with them that we all loved.
My husband and I were reviewing some videos from your course and believe we have been doing our corrections wrong. She almost always gets upset when we give her a correction. Then we tell her we can talk to her when she's calm. The effect is that she can get out of corrections by acting upset.. It looks like we should give her a correction for not staying calm even while she's acting upset then move into the rule of three saying it looks to me like you're out of instructional control. I've done that twice now, and she was able to calm down. The first time she acted like I was abusing her, but I stayed very calm. Then let me and her later a sibling help her with a math assignment. It's very difficult for her to accept help. I would greatly appreciate your advice. Thank you.