We just started more fully implementing TSG. We have been struggling with my 14 yo son, basically his whole life and just recently started him on anxiety medication. He has had multiple anxiety episodes, major defiance, and refusal to do things like go to church and school and do other things on occasion. He has lost privileges multiple times and eventually comes around, but it's painful. Yesterday's episode went better as my husband and I are trying to follow your teachings more diligently. He's fulfilling his chores well, but we had him do SODAS for the first time today as part of the Rule of 3. I explained what it is and shared the example in your book. This is how he filled it out.
Situation: I was told not to use the laptop after being reminded I needed to get ready for church and eat breakfast first.
Option 1). scream. Disadvantages: "none" for all 3. Advantages: 1. annoys my mom 2. feels good 3. none
Option 2). break the laptop. Disadvantages: "none" for all 3 Advantages: 1. my mom is happy so I get new laptop 2. can't be on it 3. none
Option 3). just stay on it. Disadvantages: "none" for all 3. Advantages: 1. can do what I want. 2. mom gets mad. 3. I am happy.
Solution: scream
I didn't say too much about the options and advantages he came up with, but I did explain that he would need to come up with disadvantages for each option. While I think what he came up with is not really acceptable, this gives you a taste of where he's at mentally. One part of me thinks I shouldn't give more attention to it because whether he's being or honest or not he did it calmly, he's completed everything else decently, and we are making progress in having him follow instructions with a much better attitude. The other part of me thinks his answers show he's clearly not accepted a no answer. Of course, I can't give all the background and details of our situation, but I'm curious how you might handle a child filling out SODAS in such a manner. I look forward to your insight.