Yelling teen

Hi, my 15 year old yelled so loudly at his brother over hair left in the bathtub that I heard it downstairs on the far end of the house. My husband yelled at him from another room and he closed himself in the bathroom.

I came up and knocked sharply at the bathroom door and told him calmly but firmly that I needed him to come talk to me, getting a towel around himself (he was almost ready to shower). I had him come to his bedroom and close the door so we could talk. I didn’t have time before bed to go slowly so I told him I could hear him, and warned him he has been starting a new pattern of yelling at us and that has to stop. We talked about the issue and I told him to write down a list of bathroom-related gripes he has and I would ask his brother to do the same. I said I would analyze the list and when we are all calm we can have a meeting to make agreements to make it go better for everyone. I told him he needs to come to me before such habits of his brother get him so upset. Lately he has been trying to be overbearing with his brother and sometimes with me. My husband has warned him about speaking to me that way. My husband also struggles with calmness and I don’t want something they will regret to happen. I warned my son of this and impressed on him the need to stop this habit ASAP.

He specifically asked me to find him help with how to handle it when his emotions ignite inside him and he’s suddenly super angry.

He used to be a kid who suppressed feelings when we as parents yelled at him. Now I’m yelling a lot less. But there are still times he raises his voice at me and I hear myself warning him in a more threatening tone, after awhile. Yes, I definitely see that all of us need more training and practice in being calm!

Any tips specifically for a teenager trying to learn calmness?