Family Dynamics 2

issues while she works, yet seems to always be willing and able to answer when our son calls her for things of much less importance). Mom let me know that since our son had forgotten his sports bag and she "didn't want to give him an excuse to miss track practice", she called her Mom, and grandma was going to come to our house, pick up our son's bag and drive to his school to take it to him. She asked if I could make sure to put his phone in his bag, since he forgot that too.

I disagreed APPROPRIATELY with her and pointed out that we need to be more united on whether she believes our son should be allowed to experience natural or artificial consequences (I'm still working on my tone of course, and no doubt can improve on this). Anyhow, grandma drove to school and dropped off the bag since I couldn't even if I wanted to. He later called me because the school policy was enforced and he was not allowed to practice running because he was LATE TO SCHOOL. So, it was all for pointless….

Anyhow, sorry for the long question and story, but I wanted to try to provide context. There's a generational tendency in my wife's family which is very clear to me, and when grandma came over to pick up the bag, she shared a story of how she had just done something for her 40 year old son who just got married. I see how my wife has grown up seeing how grandma rescues her son still as an adult, and this has not allowed him to become truly independent and self-reliant. My wife agrees often and sees this in her Mom and brother, but doesn't seem to see how she's doing the same things with our son who is less than 2 years from being an adult!

What, if anything, would you suggest to try to assist with helping change this generational tendency, without having it feel like I am blaming or always pointing out negative, as my wife says often that she feels like that's what I'm doing?

Thank you!