First, things are getting better. My son is no longer as condescending, and both kids are rocking the 4 major skills until bedtime. Then no matter how much we pre teach it doesn’t work. Bedtime is taking 3-4 hours. Kids are getting out of bed to use the bathroom, my son every night is crying about various things, they are both getting drinks of water, whispering, waking each other up. We all share one room here. My sick baby is waking up every 30 minutes at night, screams if I don’t nurse him and bites me if I do.
I use the modified rule of 3 at bedtime but ever since I modified it , it hasn’t worked well. There is less of a melt down when my son earns it but It seems to be a power struggle of how little can I do but still get away with not having the time restart. Today, during this power struggle, my daughter made a mess with pomegranates. I think it may have been on purpose, but every time my son was so sorry. My son flooded the bathroom getting mop water, forgot how to sweep and mop so didn’t mop, and just kept dropping the broom, forgot how to fold clothes, forgot how to clean the table, and was super clumsy messing around dropping brooms and stuff and woke the baby all during his modified 24 hours, his 4 hours. I think it was a sneaky power struggle like he was punishing me for giving him a consequence.
Baby does not want to be in my baby carrier any more, he just wants to crawl, but there is furniture everywhere, cockroach poisoning, choke hazards, and cleaning supplies, and plastic in every drawer and cupboard. There are sharp corners everywhere, only hardwood floor, and no where safe I can put my baby. I felt inadequate because I could not clean the mess my kids made. My mom got stressed at the mess and I broke down crying, and all of a sudden, my son became really good at doing his chores again. I just feel horrible because I’m using my stress to manipulate my children into working. I feel overwhelmed because bedtime shouldn’t take 4 hours. I feel tired. What am I missing with the rule of 3? How do I baby proof a house that isn’t mine? How do we successfully share a room? How do I show compassion to my son who literally cries every night about something? What do I pre teach to get him to stop this behavior?