Adult child with no motivation to move forward

Hi Nicholeen! 😊 I have a question about my 22 year old son. A few months ago he moved back home because he was contemplating being homeless. We have a long, sad history of not being able to communicate well because of our total opposite personalities, so having him home can often be like walking on eggshells. My son has made great efforts to try and control his anger over the years, and I'm grateful and proud of him for that. However, it's like he boils up and suddenly explodes for the smallest things. He often takes out his frustration on me, which hurts and scares me terribly. The problem is that now, he has decided to withdraw to his room most of the day, and only comes up for food, and stuff like that. He's done that because he says he doesn't want to be around us too long because he gets annoyed. And when he comes up I try to small talk to him just to let him know I notice him and care, but it feels so empty because we can't connect on a deep level. I have to mention he has ODD, had to go through a bad divorce with my ex husband and I, and then his father passed away when he was 10. He refuses to work, go to school, or even take our suggestions to help him move forward in his life. He says he doesn't have any drive to do anything; he hasn't even gotten his driver's license. I desperately want him to be happy and successful in life but he's stuck, and I don't know what to do to help him because he doesn't want our help. My husband and I try a few things here and there, but I'm wondering if you have any suggestions with our situation? I'm sorry for the long message, there's so much more I had to leave out too! 😅