Soft holds

Our (almost) 7-year-old has earned several full Rule of 3 consequences since we returned from Parenting Mastery a few weeks ago. On 3-4 occasions we have also had to employ soft holds due to physical aggression. When she seems to be calm .. not fighting the hold, taking her deep breaths, controlled voice, and assertions that she is ready to follow instructions (usually "proving" it by following some simple instruction like deep breaths or repeating the steps to a skill) .. we let go. Within minutes she proves she is NOT in instructional control by kicking, clawing, spitting, etc. (frequently while smiling or laughing), until we utilize another soft hold. It's a game to her. This cycle will repeat for an hour or more: aggressive behavior, soft hold, rage, calming behavior, release, escalation. I know we shouldn't over-utilize soft holds, but I'm at a loss and feel like were missing something.