Desperate for help

I have a 5-year-old son who is destroying my entire family life. I am not sure at what point ALL of his toys should be removed from the home. He throws them at people and windows, he calls me a extensive vocabulary of hostile inappropriate names. He says he wants to kill me, he mimics behavior from his dads house, which is abusive and violent and is destroying my family. He laughs and cries at the same time while intentionally continuing to do dangerous and violent things. At first, he was quite receptive to chores now he flat-out refuses, he refuses to listen to any of the skills, and he refuses to listen to what anyone has to say unless they are going to sit down and bow to his every command. He is trying to micromanage and control every aspect of everyone around him, how they talk and how they play etc. I homeschool and I can't give up and send him to school but I am not sure how to continue living this way with him. The negative impact is proving to be detrimental to his well-being, all family relationships and experiences, and is destroying my career as well as my mental health. I can't hold down a babysitter because I can't afford a sitter that is willing to be around him. Overall he is a very sweet nice boy but this anger is destroying all of us and we are constantly living in fear of how bad the next outburst is going to be. I can't exactly put him somewhere to calm down because he gets up and laughs and spits. (gets it from his dad)
I am desperate for help, I have purchased the TSG course, and I read the books, but I feel like we are all suffocating and underwater, I have no time to work, no time to clean, no time to shower, no time to breathe because he is so demanding and high maintenance, constantly damaging property and hitting himself.
Now I have to go back to court for custody again and to hopefully make some changes to limit the toxic exposure but I don't even know how to continue living like this.