Step 1: Being Calm

The Essence of Self-Government

Whenever I talk to people about teaching their children how to govern their own behaviors, some wise parent will say something like this to me, “I can see that to teach self government, you have to have it yourself. That is the hardest part of all of this.”

I agree. That is the hardest part of any relationship we are in. We want things to change, and so we immediately start forcing change instead of analyzing and controlling ourselves to create the right environment for change.

This environment for change and teaching is the essence of Self-Government. If our homes, and our very persons feel calm, assertive, loving, trusting, and safe then our interactions and teachings with our children, spouses, and others will be effective and feeling.

In this implementation step, the essence of self government, you will hear a new class all about the basic fundamentals of self government thinking so that you can use them in all your relationships. You will also get to hear one of my recent presentations called, The Power of Calm, which goes into detail about how I stay calm when others around are choosing not to.

As well as these presentations, we have complied text documents which are specific to staying calm, how to do it, and how you can improve the tone in your home.

Remember, the tone in your home is what allows the self government to happen and be taught. If your home feels volatile and fearful, then your home will only cause reactions instead of promoting good decision making and healthy discussions about cause and effect.

You are just beginning an exciting journey to your own self mastery. I hope you embrace this moment and choose personal change so that you can more effectively change the hearts of your family members too.


The Power of Calm(54:58)

Benjamin Franklin and The Four Keys of Self-Government(1:26:28)

Spencer’s Remarks(14:14)

Other Segments:


Staying Positive(7:18)

Conquering Yourself(1:15)


Back Talking and Attitude Problems

Examples of out of control parenting:Are you like this?Self Assessment(read disclaimer)

Family Structure Definition -Structuring The Family

How do I help my children be calm when they are not?

How do I stop reacting?

How to be self-governed – 11 Year-Old’s Self Assessment Plan

Love and Logic VS Self Government

Power Struggles

How Do I Not Have Buttons For My Children to Push?

What is Self-Government?

When Your Child Won’t Go To Bed


Are You Assertive?

Balancing a Busy Life

Be Happy

Called to Swim in Deep Water

Calm in a Hurry

Can a Person Control Their Emotions?

Don’t Overreact

How Do You Get Your Way?

How Did I Learn Teaching Self Governement?

How Do You Sound When They Do Something Wrong

Mother’s Day Miracle

Real Control! Help for Parents

The Road Less Traveled Building Strong Families

What is Parenting, but Learning?

World’s Strictest Parents: How it all Began

Chapters ofParenting A House UnitedTo Read: 2, 18, 19, 30


  1. Do thisSelf Assessmentoften
  2. Do thisRelationship Assessmentfor all relationships and do it often


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