I thought this comment was worth sharing on the front page. ~Nicholeen
I just wanted to share a neat little conversation with 10yod tonight while we were cleaning the dinner dishes. She said, "You know that when you ask 4yod and 6yos to like, go make their bed. They whine and don't want to do it, but if you say, 'William, I'm going to give you an instruction. Please go make your bed.' Than they say 'OK' and go do it right away.!" I praised her tons for making and sharing this observation and we talked about how interesting that was. I think the difference is that we practice how to receive an instruction in our family meeting and we practice it once in a while. It seems to give them permission to respond respectfully (having practiced the calm voice, calm face, say ok, go do it, return and report). Just saying the words, "I'm going to give you an instruction" is a phenominal 1 second pre-teach that gets the kids mind ready to listen and respond and since we've role played earlier in a good spirit, it comes easy to them and they know what to do!!!!!!!
We love 'Teaching Self Government'!!!
The comment of Kaisie's daughter reminded me of a helpful tip for giving instructions.
Asking people to do things is proper manners, but a parent shouldn't ask their children if they will make their bed or take their dirty dish to the sink. If you ask a question like, "Will you please take your plate to the sink?" Then they can say, "No" and not have done anything wrong. This is submissive parenting. You are the parent, so that means you are not on an equal level with your children. I simply say, "Londyn, I need you to take your plate over to the sink please. OK?" Or, "Londyn, take your dish over to the sink please." Then you have given an instruction. Then they have a duty to say OK.
Just a reminder