Message from Paije Peck (Nicholeen’s Daughter) Disagreeing appropriately is, by far, my favorite self-government skill. As a youth, it proves to be one of the most helpful skills to have too. Not only is it helpful, it’s very important for the structure of the home. Disagreeing appropriately is a great way to get my point …
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGKZXQd0G0I] Last week my post was about sibling rivalry. Here is a movie which shows how knowing to disagree appropriately is a skill which helps sibling rivalry.
This sibling rivalry solution video was filmed while I was doing some private self-government teaching for a family. I thought the children did very well with their new skills! It is hard to learn new stuff. But, both children will have much more happiness now that they understand that disagreeing appropriately is for their relationsh
Hey, I have read your book and have been trying to implement the system, however I have a few questions. My oldest son is 11, he has trouble controlling his emotions and talking back. Here is an example of a typical situation; I ask him to do something he makes a face and might say a smart remark but he will look me in the eye after I remind him and will say ok sarcastically then he will go do the chore.
He follows the steps the right way about 50% of the time. Today he was out of instructional control and me telling him that if he chose not to follow my instructions that the was going to chose to earn another chore didn’t work. He just sat there, so I left the room for a few minutes and when I came back he was ready to follow instructions. However he was only ready after I told him that he was going to lose all his privileges. My question is how long should he lose his privileges? He was calm, he just didn’t want to follow my instructions when I asked the first time.
He also talks back too much or tries to argue.
Q: “My Older children like to use the “disagreeing Appropriately” in what I consider to be inappropriate ways. For instance if I give an instruction that they simply don’t feel like doing, they disagree appropriately. I find that I want to say “no, you can’t disagree appropriately” because, I don’t feel it is appropriate to disagree to help. Yet, if I don’t allow them to disagree, then I get considerably more arguing and whining. And if I allow it, but don’t let them out of the request, I worry that I am never rewarding them for disagreeing appropriately. Any suggestions on how to overcome this? On a positive note, my 5 year old is using this a lot better, and it has cut down on his whining considerably.”
The fact that your children like to use disagreeing appropriately shows they have learned that calmly discussing works better than having an attitude problem or other alternative. It could also mean your children think they have found a
When I see my children are getting frustrated, I gently remind them that they can disagree appropriately. I even tell my children exactly how to disagree with ME sometimes. The point of the skill is to learn how to stop emotion and problem solve instead of get upset, and to learn when it’s a good time to appropriately disagree.